And now it's my job to stand in front of classes on a regular basis, convincing students that I know what I'm talking about (which I do, most of the time, even when they are not convinced). Most of the time, however, I feel like I'm winging and bluffing, thirteen years of higher education notwithstanding, and the now twelve (TWELVE!?) years of teaching experience that suggest that I might actually know what I'm doing.
But this fall is a new experience of imposter syndrome for me, since I am, in fact, teaching two classes I've never taught before, and one that is a rather wholesale experiement on campus for which I am ultimately responsible.
I can tell already that these sixteen weeks will be an extended exercise of invention.
More like life, I suppose, than my carefully structured syllabi often suggest.
There will be digression. Maybe even regression. There will be accidental successes and marvelously executed failures.
And I will revel again in the joy of teaching that is thoughtfully preparing beforehand, putting hand to the classroom door, and following the wind instead.
The great hope of learning? That we all end up where we need to be.
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In this spirit, I offer my made-up back-to-school breakfast from this past week:
Baked Oatmeal
2 C. rolled oats, combined with
1 3/4 C. boiling water; let stand while
Blending together:
2 overripe bananas, mashed
1/2 C. applesauce
1/2 C. plain yogurt
2 Tb. canola oil
1 egg
1/4 C. brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. Penzey's Baking Spice (or cinnamon, or whatever concoction of baking spices you prefer)
1/4 C. ground flax seed
Add the oats and water to the wet mixture, pour into a greased (glass) baking dish, and bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until set in the center. Make the night before, and eat chilled, or reheat in the microwave before running out to school.
In music, we call it improvisation :)
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